I have been reading my husband’s therapy journal

Dear Delyara, My husband began therapy after a severe depressive episode. He keeps a journal in the drawer beside our bed because his therapist asks him to write between sessions. Three months ago, I read it. I told myself I was checking whether he was safe. Then I kept reading. I know which parts of our marriage he resents, which memories he has never shared with me, and which colleague he once imagined kissing during a difficult year. He has never acted on it. The journal makes that clear. He also writes that he loves me and feels guilty for how much his depression asks from our family. None of this was intended for my eyes. Now every conversation is contaminated by knowledge I cannot admit having. Last night, he told me therapy was helping him feel more honest. I nearly confessed. Then fear stopped me because the journal contains the only unfiltered access I have to his mind, and I have become addicted to knowing what he has not chosen to give me. I keep telling myself I began from concern. Concern does not explain why I read yesterday’s entry while he was in the shower.