I Have Friendships That Know How To Lean On Me Better

Dear Delyara, I know that sounds harsh. It is also accurate. People trust me. They call when life is messy. They tell me things they can’t tell other people. They come when they need steadiness, perspective, containment, warmth. I am good at being that person. What I am starting to notice, though, is how often my own distress remains invisible inside that role unless I make it loudly visible on purpose. And by then, I’m usually too tired to want to. So the friendship can become lopsided without anybody formally agreeing to that arrangement. One person carried. One person carrying. I don’t think most of them mean harm. But I do think I have been too easy to lean on and too hard to really see. That loneliness is starting to feel less accidental than it used to.