I have friendships where I am deeply used and only lightly known

Dear Delyara, That sentence shames me because I have participated in it for years. People trust me. They tell me things. They come to me when they are low, confused, embarrassed, angry, lonely, ashamed. I am good at holding what others bring. I have built a whole identity around being emotionally reliable. And now I’m beginning to see the loneliness hidden inside that reputation. Because being a safe place for other people is not the same as being deeply known by them. In some friendships I have become the listener, the translator, the stabiliser, the kind one, the calm one, the strong one. I can feel when someone reaches for me because they need containment. What I feel much less often is the sense that I could arrive as messy, ashamed, repetitive, needy, or unedited and still be held with the same tenderness I offer so easily to others. I am tired of being admired for the exact thing that leaves me most emotionally alone.