I have started dreading a friendship I still feel guilty for leaving

Dear Delyara, That is the trap. If someone is openly cruel, leaving feels easier to justify. But when a friendship becomes heavy in quieter ways — more draining than nurturing, more obligation than rest, more performance than honesty — it can take years to admit what your body already knows. I see her name and feel pressure. I leave the conversation feeling more tired than before. I edit myself more. I tell the truth less. I feel relief when plans are cancelled and shame for feeling relief immediately after. Still, I stay. Because history makes me loyal. Because guilt makes me slow. Because women are trained to mistake endurance for virtue in relationships far too often. I’m not sure what’s more painful now: the friendship itself, or the growing understanding that I am betraying myself by calling it care to remain in it.