I Hear Cost Before Comfort

Dear Delyara, A child needs something. A school letter arrives. Someone suggests a day out. The car makes a noise. A shoe wears out. A birthday is coming. The fridge is emptying. And before I can respond as a mother, a woman, a normal human being inside ordinary life, my mind hears cost. It is immediate. And I hate it. I do not want comfort, joy, childhood, health, or normal family life translated first into numbers inside me. But that is what has happened. Money has entered the room before tenderness. Again and again and again. That changes a person. I am living proof of that.