I Heard “Mum” and Wanted to Disappear for Ten Minutes

Dear Delyara, I hate writing that. It is still true. It was not the child’s fault. It was not even a difficult question. It was just one more call toward me at the exact wrong second, when my body had already used up all its softness and was trying to rebuild enough of it to get through the rest of the evening without sounding like a woman who wanted to lock herself in the car. I answered. Gently enough. But inside, what I wanted was ten full minutes of no one needing my voice. Love and overwhelm live so close together in me sometimes that I can barely tell where one stops and the other starts.