I heard my name from upstairs three times in five minutes and wanted to become invisible for one hour

Dear Delyara, Nothing dramatic was needed. That was the problem. Just the ordinary stream of things only I apparently know: where something is, whether something is allowed, what time something happens, whether a shirt is clean, whether a message needs answering, whether I have seen the other sock, whether dinner is soon, whether yes really means yes. By the third “Mum,” I could feel my body tightening before my voice answered. I did answer warmly. That matters to me. Still, there are days when being needed this continuously feels less like love and more like saturation. Then the guilt arrives for even thinking that. That is part of the exhaustion too.