I Heard the Kettle Click Off and Didn’t Move

Dear Delyara, I had put the kettle on because tea usually feels like a sensible adult response to life. Then it clicked off, and instead of pouring the water, I stayed leaning against the counter staring at nothing. That pause was not peaceful. It was the kind of stillness that happens when the body has too much open inside it and no clean thought wants to come first. I made the tea eventually. It tasted fine. But what stayed with me was the gap between the sound of readiness and my own complete lack of it.