I Hide Inside Preparation

Dear Delyara, My fear of failure rarely looks like dramatic fear. It looks like preparation. Too much preparation. Endless preparation. Preparation as delay. Preparation as a disguise for avoidance. I convince myself I am being responsible, thorough, strategic. But often what I am really doing is hiding inside readiness because actual movement would expose me to judgment, rejection, or evidence that I’m not as capable as I want to believe. It is exhausting to be trapped between wanting something and fearing what it would mean to seriously try for it.