I keep apologizing in my head

Dear Delyara, I do this all day without noticing. Sorry for being late. Sorry for being tired. Sorry for needing space. Sorry for wanting something different. Sorry for not replying better. Sorry for being quieter than usual. Sorry for not being more grateful. Sorry for being too much. Sorry for being not enough. It’s exhausting. I don’t know when guilt became the background language of my personality, but it’s there, everywhere, making even ordinary feelings feel like things that need defending. I wonder what kind of person I’d be without so much internal apology.