I keep making myself nearly ready instead of exposed

Dear Delyara, Nearly ready is such a seductive place. It feels mature. Thoughtful. Reasonable. Protective. And it can keep a person hidden for years. I see that in myself more clearly now. The way I prepare around the edges of what I want instead of stepping into the visible vulnerability of wanting it before success has made the wanting look wise. It’s not that I don’t care. I care enough to want a guarantee first. That’s what fear touches most in me. Exposure without protection.