I keep preparing for emotional weather that doesn’t arrive

Dear Delyara, There are so many things I survive in advance that never actually happen. A shift in tone becomes a possible rejection. A delayed reply becomes a possible conflict. A vague feeling in the body becomes a possible problem. A normal day becomes a series of imagined warning signs. By the time the actual event arrives — if it even arrives — I am already tired from the preparation. That is what anxiety steals most from me: energy spent on futures that were never real. It is hard not to resent that.