I keep searching for what might be wrong even in calm moments

Dear Delyara, That is what anxiety looks like when it is quiet. Not visible panic. Search. Search for the hidden tone, the missing warmth, the future problem, the detail I forgot, the thing that will go wrong because I relaxed too much too soon. It means calm is often not fully calm, because part of me is still checking the horizon. That is exhausting in a way that rarely gets recognized.