I keep trying to emotionally solve tomorrow tonight

Dear Delyara, That is what waiting becomes in me when I’m not careful. I don’t just wait. I prepare excessively, feel ahead, brace ahead, forecast ahead, rehearse ahead. It’s as if my mind believes that if it occupies tomorrow hard enough tonight, tomorrow won’t be able to surprise me. It doesn’t work. It only steals the present. And still, I keep doing it. That’s what feels so tiring.