I keep waiting until I can fail in a more dignified way

Dear Delyara, That is such an absurd sentence. It is also true. I delay things because I want the conditions of possible failure to look better. Better prepared, better timed, better framed, more intelligent, more impressive. As if if I fail after enough polishing, it will hurt less or reveal less about me. As if dignity can be manufactured around disappointment in advance. But I know what this really is. It is fear trying to keep sincerity under supervision. If I never step in fully, then I never fully expose what matters. That is the bargain. And I am tired of paying with time.