I keep wondering whether I built this or simply adapted to it

Dear Delyara, That question keeps returning with more force now. Did I choose this? Or did I adapt well enough to what was available, survivable, respectable, and then continue long enough that adaptation became indistinguishable from identity? I’m good at it. That’s what makes the question harder. Skill can hide misfit so effectively. And sometimes I worry that I’ve mistaken functionality for belonging because it was easier than asking harder questions earlier. I’m not sure yet. But the question is alive now.