I kept forgiving the pattern because I remembered the beginning

Dear Delyara, Beginnings are dangerous that way. A beautiful beginning can earn too much patience later. It can keep whispering on behalf of the current relationship long after the current relationship has stopped being consistent, safe, mutual, or restful. I think that’s what happened to me. I remembered the beginning so vividly that I let it negotiate with the present for far too long. Eventually the present won. But not before I had already spent a lot of energy defending what used to be true. That exhaustion still lingers.