I know the friendship is hurting me when I start sounding careful in it

Dear Delyara, Not how long she takes to reply. Not whether she says the right thing. My own body. When I start checking myself, editing warmth, reducing what I actually want to say, or feeling relief when the conversation stays shallow, I know something has shifted. A friendship should not make me feel like emotional size is something I need to manage constantly. Some do. And when they do, I stay in them too long out of history and hope and loyalty. That does not make the cost smaller.