I left my little sister unbuckled for one short drive

Dear Delyara, I was seventeen when our mother asked me to drive my little sister to a friend’s house. She was eight and complained that the seat belt rubbed her neck. The journey was five minutes, so I let her sit without it. A truck ran a red light. My sister survived but suffered a spinal injury and now uses a wheelchair. Everyone says the truck driver caused the crash. He was convicted. Insurance paid for the house adaptations. My sister tells people I saved her by pulling her from the car. Nobody knows she was unbuckled because of me. I lied to the police and said she had removed the belt herself. She does not remember the moments before impact. I have spent twelve years helping with appointments, fundraising, and accessibility campaigns while carrying the fact that one lazy decision changed her body. She calls me her hero. I am the person who lifted her from the wreckage. I am also the reason she moved so far inside it. Every time she thanks me, guilt becomes heavier because the truth would relieve me by injuring her again.