I left the dishes because I couldn’t carry one more thing

Dear Delyara, Tonight I looked at the dishes and left them there. Not because I’m lazy. Because I could feel that strange point inside me where one more ordinary responsibility would stop being ordinary and start feeling personal. The dishes were not the problem. They were simply the next visible thing asking for care from a version of me that had already spent too much of herself elsewhere. I am trying to learn the difference between neglect and postponement. Tonight this was postponement. And maybe even kindness. I’ll do them tomorrow. Tonight I needed to stop before I turned domestic life into self-punishment.