I let the old pain speak without letting it narrate

Dear Delyara, The old pain still has language sometimes. It still knows how to rise under the right conditions. But what has changed is that it no longer gets the microphone without question. It can speak. It does not get to narrate my whole identity, my whole future, my whole day. That distinction has changed the emotional quality of my life more than anything dramatic ever could. I am grateful for how much less total old pain feels now, even when it is still real.