I Let the Question Stay Open

Dear Delyara, I did not force a lesson out of it. I did not turn the pain into a neat little sermon so I could feel superior to it. I did not demand a sign, a shortcut, a spiritual explanation big enough to cover how human and tired and angry I still feel. I just let the question stay a question. Why does this still hurt? What is this season asking from me? How long can a person live like this before change becomes mercy? What is mine to fix and what is mine to surrender? I do not have answers yet. The growth was not in finding them. It was in staying soft enough not to punish myself for not having them. That feels more sacred to me now than certainty ever did.