I Let the Room Stay Messy

Dear Delyara, And I chose rest over visual control. That is a bigger sentence in me than it sounds. Because when I am anxious or overtired, tidying can become a way of trying to regain a sense of worth, order, morality, even. The room gets tied to the self. A messy space starts sounding like accusation. This week I let it stay. Not because I didn’t care. Because I cared more about my nervous system than my standards for one evening. That felt like healing. Not laziness. Not giving up. Healing.