I Let the Unanswered Thing Stay Unanswered for One Night

Dear Delyara, I didn’t force meaning. I didn’t dig for signs. I didn’t build a whole late-night spiritual crime board trying to connect pain to purpose so I could sleep. I just left it alone. The question is still there. Why this. Why now. What am I supposed to do with this version of my life and this version of myself and this ache that keeps changing shape before I can name it properly. But last night I let the question stay open. And instead of feeling abandoned by that openness, I felt strangely held by it. Maybe maturity is not certainty. Maybe it is the ability to let the mystery breathe without punishing yourself for not solving it by midnight. That thought was kinder than most of the ones I usually sleep beside.