I let the urge pass without obeying it

Dear Delyara, I used to think urges were instructions. Now I know they can just be weather. Tonight one came hard and fast, familiar and persuasive, offering old relief in a voice that still knows me too well. But instead of obeying it, I watched it. I moved through the room. I drank water. I breathed badly, then better. I waited. And eventually it changed. I think recovery is teaching me something deeper than abstinence. It is teaching me that I am not every urge I feel.