I Live Ahead of Myself

Dear Delyara, Ahead of the moment. Ahead of the call. Ahead of the school day. Ahead of the result. Ahead of the next problem. Ahead of conversations that haven’t happened yet. Ahead of financial pain before it actually lands. Ahead of health fear before facts exist. Anxiety keeps pushing me there. And the further ahead I live, the less I inhabit what is actually happening in front of me. That’s what I mourn most. Not only peace. Presence.