I looked clearly and did not collapse

Dear Delyara, I want to respect this as the victory it is. I looked at the numbers. Clearly. Honestly. Without turning away. Without creating a fog around them first. Without letting dread become the entire mood of the evening. The situation itself isn’t perfect. But my relationship to it is less frightened than it used to be. That matters. There is a kind of strength in staying in the room with reality instead of running into vagueness. I think I’m finally developing more of it.