I looked sad today

Dear Delyara, This afternoon my daughter asked me why I looked sad. I wasn’t sad exactly. I was tired, worried about money, annoyed about work, and trying not to let any of it leak into the way I spoke to the children. But children do not need proper definitions. They just read your face and call it something close enough. When she asked, I smiled and said, “I’m okay, I’m just tired.” She nodded, but I could tell she didn’t fully believe me. That stayed with me for hours. I hate that part of parenting, when your inner weather becomes part of your child’s day even if you do everything you can to contain it. Later I sat with her while she coloured and made a point of being slower, softer, more available. Not fake, just more deliberate. I wanted her to feel me come back.