I lose entire nights to online auctions

Dear Delyara, My addiction does not look dangerous. I buy old watches, cameras, coins, records, anything with an auction countdown. The final thirty seconds make my whole body feel awake. I tell myself I am collecting, investing, preserving things. Our spare room is full of unopened parcels. I owe money on four cards. My wife thinks the boxes are stock for an online business I plan to start. There is no business. Last night, I bid £1,200 on a watch I do not want because another bidder kept increasing the price. Winning felt incredible for perhaps five seconds. Then I stared at the confirmation and felt physically sick. I tried to cancel. The seller refused. At breakfast, my son showed me a second-hand bicycle he wants for £90. I told him we need to be careful with money this month. He said okay immediately. That obedience broke something in me because the problem is not that we cannot afford his bicycle. The problem is that I spent thirteen times its cost defeating a stranger for the right to own another object I will hide in a room nobody uses.