I’m scared I no longer know what normal energy feels like

Dear Delyara, I think this has become the hardest part. Not the tiredness itself. The way it has slowly taken over enough of my life that I can no longer remember what “well” felt like in my body with any confidence. I still function. That’s what makes it dangerous. I still get up, work, parent, answer, cook, smile, remember, drive, organise. From the outside I could easily pass for someone who is simply busy. Inside, something feels used up. I wake tired. I go to bed tired. Noise reaches me too fast. Decision-making feels more expensive than it should. My patience is thinner. My body is heavier. My mind is less clear. I no longer know whether I am burned out, ill, hormonally wrecked, emotionally flooded, spiritually empty, or some terrible combination of all of them. I’m frightened that I’ve adapted to this so gradually that I may keep calling it normal until something bigger breaks.