I’m the one who listens, and I don’t know where to put my own life anymore

Dear Delyara, I have become that person in my friendships. The one others call when they are low, confused, furious, heartbroken, panicking, doubting, lonely. I am good at listening. I make room. I ask the right questions. I hold things without rushing. People trust me with their mess. And lately, I feel empty after it. Not because I don’t care. Because I do not know where my own life goes once I’ve been the container for everyone else’s. I have become so identified with being emotionally capable that it feels awkward, almost embarrassing, to be the one who needs holding without first translating the experience into something easier for other people to manage. I am tired of being “the strong one.” That title is often just loneliness in flattering clothes. The terrible part is that I helped create this pattern by being so good at carrying. Now I don’t know how to step out of it without disappointing people who think my steadiness is permanent.