I made it through an ordinary Saturday without checking the hospital app

Dear Delyara, After cancer treatment ended, I checked my hospital portal constantly. Every ache sent me searching for results that had not been ordered. Every notification made my stomach drop. My psychologist helped me reduce checking gradually: twice a day, then once, then only when I was actually expecting information. Yesterday, my grandchildren came over. We made pizzas, argued about toppings, walked to the park, and watched a terrible animated film. At bedtime, I realized I had not opened the hospital app once. Not because I forced myself not to. I had forgotten. For nearly nine hours, I was simply Nana. I still have follow-up scans next month. Fear has not disappeared. But one entire Saturday existed without me asking a screen whether I was still allowed a future. A good day was not receiving good medical news. It was living long enough between medical thoughts for ordinary life to become louder.