I made the call I had built into a monster in my head

Dear Delyara, You know the kind of call. The one that lives on the list for days because your imagination keeps enlarging it. Maybe it’s the school, the bank, the doctor, the manager, the landlord, the office, whoever. It becomes more than a phone call. It becomes emotional weather. It sits there darkening the whole day while still technically taking only five minutes of actual reality. This week I made one of those calls. My hands were cold before I dialled. I still dialled. And, of course, reality was smaller than fear had been. Still uncomfortable. Still awkward. Still requiring a bit of courage. But not the giant private monster I had been feeding in silence. I’m trying to learn this: avoidance is often fear asking for extra territory. Calling early is one way of refusing to give it the whole house.