I made tomorrow’s to-do list and felt my whole personality flatten into admin

Dear Delyara, Buy milk. Reply to school email. Check bank. Call GP. Finish report. Take coat to dry cleaner. Remember cousin’s birthday. Find football socks. Order prescription. Nothing on that list was soul-sized. That’s what made it heavy. Just ordinary maintenance, lined up in my handwriting like proof that adulthood can quietly become an endless act of logistical obedience if you’re not careful. Necessary things, yes. Loving things, often yes. Still, when too much of life is administration, something inside a woman starts to feel like it is disappearing in very tidy handwriting. I put the pen down and felt less like a person than I had ten minutes earlier.