I Miss Being Looked After

Dear Delyara, This is hard to admit because it makes me feel childish, but tonight I miss being looked after. Not controlled. Not managed. Just cared for in a way that lets me stop holding everything for one evening. I am tired of being competent. Tired of being “fine enough.” Tired of knowing how to get through things. Some nights I want someone else to notice the weight before it becomes visible enough to earn sympathy. Some nights I want tenderness without needing to collapse first. That feels like an impossible kind of longing. But it’s real.