I miss being read before I become dramatic enough to explain

Dear Delyara, There is a kind of care I miss more as I get older. Not being asked if I’m okay in the general way. Being accurately noticed before I have to become big, obvious, exhausted, or upset enough to justify attention. The quieter noticing. The kind that understands flatness, distance, overstimulation, the difference between needing a hug and needing less contact. I think that’s why loneliness can exist in full lives. Because practical care does not always include emotional accuracy. And emotional accuracy is what makes the body feel less alone. I miss that more than I know how to say without sounding needy. Maybe I am needy. Maybe humans are.