I miss being someone’s first emotional thought

Dear Delyara, The person someone turns toward first with good news, bad news, nothing news, the tiny ridiculous daily things that want sharing before they cool down. The first reach. The first call. The first message. The first inner movement toward another person. I miss that more than I usually say. Because it feels vulnerable to admit how deeply I still want to be central in that way to someone. Needed is not the same as first. Useful is not the same as chosen. And loneliness grows exactly in those differences.