I miss being understood without the long explanation

Dear Delyara, I’m so tired of beginning from zero. This is what I mean. This is the kind of tired I am. This is why I sound flat. This is why I need softness instead of solutions. This is why “fine” doesn’t mean fine today. This is why I can’t do a long call. I can explain all that if I have to. But I miss being close enough to someone that I don’t always have to. There is something profoundly lonely about being surrounded by people who care in theory and still having to translate your emotional weather from the beginning every time it changes.