I miss someone I can no longer trust with my softness

Dear Delyara, I still miss a friendship I know I cannot go back to honestly. That’s what makes it confusing. If it had ended dramatically, maybe I could carry the grief more cleanly. But it didn’t. It thinned out through imbalance, unmet honesty, emotional mismatch, and that slow strange sadness of realizing you are giving more tenderness to something than it can actually hold. I miss the history. I miss the shape of that person in my life. But I don’t miss how lonely I had become inside the friendship itself. I think some endings hurt because they remove comfort, and some hurt because they confirm what had already stopped being safe. This was the second kind.