I miss the woman in me who used to move toward things without so much self-doubt

Dear Delyara, She wasn’t fearless. She was just less interrupted by herself. I look at the way I approach opportunities now and I can feel how much inner weight has gathered over the years. Age, disappointment, practical life, financial limits, past failures, other people’s needs, fear of public humiliation — all of it now sits between desire and movement like a second body. I miss my older self’s hunger. I miss wanting without immediately negotiating against it. I miss the emotional clean line between dream and action. Now so much of my ambition gets stuck in analysis before it reaches the stage of visible effort. That isn’t wisdom. At least not all of it. Some of it is erosion. I know that and still feel trapped in it.