I missed my train by seconds and felt like the whole week had summed itself up

Dear Delyara, I saw the doors close while I was still running. It wasn’t the end of the world. Another train came fifteen minutes later. But I stood there on the platform feeling far more emotional than the situation deserved. Not because of the delay itself. Because it felt symbolic in exactly the wrong way. That has been my whole week: nearly on time, nearly managing, nearly rested, nearly caught up, nearly steady, but always arriving just after the easiest version of things has already gone. By the time the next train came, I had pulled myself together. But I wanted to write this because I think sometimes what breaks us isn’t the event. It’s the way the event fits too neatly into a pattern we are already tired of living.