I missed the version of me that spoke faster

Dear Delyara, Not because she was smarter. Because she was less afraid. I noticed today how much slower I’ve become before saying certain things. Not in a graceful thoughtful way, but in a filtered, self-protective way. Measuring, adjusting, considering risk, editing the edges before the sentence even arrives. Sometimes I miss the speed of old honesty, even if it was less polished. Carefulness has protected me in places. It has also cost me a certain kind of freedom. I felt that cost clearly today.