I nearly cried because the house was finally tidy

Dear Delyara, I finished cleaning the house tonight and almost cried. Not because cleaning is emotional. Because I think I needed proof that something in my life could still become calm after being messy. Sometimes I’m not crying about the actual thing in front of me. I’m crying because the thing in front of me becomes a stand-in for something larger I don’t know how to touch directly. Tonight, a tidy room felt like hope.