I nearly forgot the birthday gift at home

Dear Delyara, I remembered halfway down the road. That awful jolt hit my chest so hard I actually said “No” out loud to an empty car. The child was in the back seat already dressed and excited and asking if I thought there would be balloons, and the actual present was still standing by the front door where I had put it “so I wouldn’t forget.” That phrase should be banned from my life. It never protects anything. I turned the car around, ran in, grabbed the gift, smiled like nothing had happened, and drove on. But inside I felt shaken for the next hour. Not because of the gift. Because I am tired of how many things I am holding at once, and how often one small miss feels like proof that I’m getting too full to carry my own life properly.