I nearly lost patience over a school project and hated myself immediately

Dear Delyara, It was cardboard, glue, and one child’s very confident belief that we could “just make it look good” at eight-thirty in the evening. I’d already done dinner, packed lunches, answered one work email I shouldn’t have answered, and tried to sort tomorrow in my head. Then the project appeared on the table like some delayed punishment from a week I had already survived badly. My daughter was excited. I was exhausted. That combination is dangerous. I didn’t shout. But my voice hardened in a way I heard as it came out, and her face changed immediately. Not crushed, just cautious. That was enough to make me feel awful. We finished the project. I apologised. She forgave me quickly because children often do. I didn’t forgive myself as quickly. There is a particular shame in seeing how little distance sometimes remains between your tiredness and someone else’s small joy. That was the part I carried to bed.