I no longer need pain to become wise before I allow it to be real

Dear Delyara, That change has brought me a lot of peace. For a long time, I think I expected myself to move through hurt quickly enough that it turned into insight before it became embarrassing. As if the only acceptable pain was pain already on its way to being useful. Now I am gentler. Pain can be repetitive. Late. Ungraceful. Emotionally unproductive for a while. Still real. Healing, I think, has a lot to do with letting the pain exist without forcing it to become a performance of growth too quickly.