I peeled potatoes and felt like I had been standing all year

Dear Delyara, It was just dinner. Potatoes, onions, the ordinary rhythm of getting something hot onto plates before everyone became too hungry and too impatient. But while I was standing at the counter peeling them, I had this sudden heavy feeling that I have been standing for months in one form or another. Standing at work. Standing in the kitchen. Standing by the sink. Standing outside school. Standing in queues. Standing in my own life like it is something I am always preparing, managing, or recovering from rather than fully inhabiting. I don’t mean that I’m ungrateful. I know this is ordinary life. But last night I really felt the body-truth of it. My feet hurt, my shoulders were tense, and I could feel how little of my day had involved actual rest that wasn’t just a pause before the next thing. By the time dinner was ready, I wanted to sit more than I wanted to eat. That told me enough.