I practice my granddaughter’s name before every video call

Dear Delyara, My granddaughter was born in Sweden, and her name contains a sound my mouth cannot make. My daughter corrects me gently. The child corrects me less gently. She is four and laughs whenever I say it wrong. Before our Sunday calls, I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and repeat the name until my tongue feels tired. Today, I said it perfectly once. By the time the call began, fear had stiffened my mouth again, and the child covered her ears dramatically. Everyone laughed. I laughed too. Afterward, my daughter sent a message saying not to worry because children understand love in every language. I know that. Still, I want my granddaughter to hear herself correctly inside my voice. I already miss her first years, her smell, the weight of her asleep on a shoulder I have never offered. I send packages, sing old songs through a screen, and learn the names of cartoon animals in Swedish. Her name should be the easiest part. Tonight, I wrote it on paper and placed it beside my bed. Tomorrow morning, before saying my prayers, I will say her name first.