I protect myself by becoming smaller first

Dear Delyara, I’ve been noticing a painful pattern in myself. When I want something enough to care, I often start shrinking before the world has even responded. I lower the dream, soften the ask, delay the move, prepare forever, call it caution, call it timing, call it practicality. But often it is fear. Fear of exposure. Fear of being seen wanting. Fear of looking foolish if the desire is not returned by reality. It is astonishing how much self-protection can look like maturity from the outside.