I put the school shoes by the door and felt like I was setting tomorrow’s trap

Dear Delyara, Every evening now has this strange quality to it. You are not only ending the day. You are quietly loading the next one. Shoes by the door. Water bottles ready. Uniform checked. Form signed. Charger found. Reminder sent. Lunch thought about. The future always entering the room too early and making itself your problem before today has fully let go. Tonight, lining the shoes up neatly, I suddenly felt angry at how relentless it all is. Not furious. Just worn down by the endless pre-management of family life. No one thanks you for the things that go smoothly because you anticipated them. That’s part of the loneliness of it.